Road Trip in a Cloud Car

note: This document was obtained from BillyBear Labs at great personal risk to my anonymous source. (hush, Mittens, I told you the salmon is in the mail! SHEESH!)

Imagine a happy little cloud car, with big flirty eyes. A proud little car in search of adventure. Now imagine this car indentured to a wacky family of squabbling CareBears. Overworked and drifty BillysDad, cookie baking/pistol packing BillysMom, Cousin Larry the Lawyer, and little BillyBear.

The little Cloud Car sighed whenever they planned a road trip. Young Billy Bear always brought along half the silverware drawer and his imaginary platypus. He spent a lot of time torturing it, gently and with great understanding. Cousin Larry the Lawyer was in the back seat of the long suffering Cloud Car and saw everything Young Billy Bear did, but he understood that he would make a lot of money in fees once BillyBear grew up and snapped- so he said nothing.

BillysMom made good use of her time, telling BillysDad how to drive and cleaning her piece. There were very few problems in her world that couldn’t be solved with clear direction, a fresh batch of chocolate chippers, and hot lead.  BillysDad just drove. He could hear her, but ignoring what his wife said saved a lot of arguments and fuss. He knew where they were going, the little pixies in his head told him so. Such lovely little pixies, in their sheer little skirts and scanty little pastel panties…all flirty and preening while he pranced among them, happy and free, his stubby little legs somehow graceful and….EEEEEEK!! He pulled the Cloud Car back into their lane and out of oncoming traffic. Thank goodness the pixies had warned him of danger. Sweet princess pixes and their, oh my, those lovely little panties… BillysDad was usually a cheerful, if dreamy, CareBear.

It took them a long time, and the Cloud Car was no longer cheerful and smiling when they finally arrived at their destination, the Happiest Place on Earth. YoungBillyBear even left the platypus and silverware behind as he waddled ahead of his family, arms stretched wide. It was the purest, happiest moment of his young troubled life. Larry followed close behind, gleefully rubbing his paws, certain that the snapping couldn’t be far behind.  BillysMom could smell the fresh baked goods and admired the way attendants knew just where everything was! And as for BillysDad, he’d seen a twinkling little spark of light, the Queen of all Pixies, and she was everywhere in this Most Holy Place. They all ran on their stubby little legs, hearts open, ready to experience all the happiness this Magic Place could give them. And then, after standing in a long long line, it happened. The Sign. The Evil Sign.  The Sign that was Everywhere. The Sign that said “You must be this tall to ride this ride”.  The CareBears stared up at the sign in dismay, joy and happiness draining from their furry bodies. Such a long car trip, such high hopes, so many pixies!! And now….

The CareBears never spoke of that particular road trip, not even when the therapist at the “place” where BillyBear had to “go” urged them to. The Cloud Car would only shudder and motor off when asked. And Cousin Larry the Lawyer was seen gloating over his sudden riches. The platypus was never not seen again.

the end

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